bucket list.

i'm officially starting one.

i have all these ideas floating around in my head of things i would like to do before i "kick the bucket"

i say its time to document them.

#1 become better at spanish.

you know, i guess 5 years isn't enough. i'm nowhere near fluent. 

#2 learn how to play the piano.

the only song i know is mary had a little lamb. with one finger. 

#3 ride in a hot air balloon.

#4 wear high heels for a full day.

i'm self consciously tall with weak ankles.

it would be a great accomplishment for me!

#5 travel.

lots & lots & lots.

number one on my travel list? poland.

#6 live by myself.

#7 solve a rubik's cube.

#8 become a better cook.

ask anyone. i'm truly terrible.

#9 learn how to knit.

#10 take as many pictures as i can

i've recently become better at this. it's important to capture the memories!

#11 read every book by Nicholas Sparks

slowly getting there.

#12 allow myself to make mistakes.
nobody is perfect.

#13 run a half marathon.

maybe if i'm feeling it we'll go for a full. highly doubt it.
 

#14 LEARN TO BE DECISIVE

if only if only...
 

#15 have a career i love.
still haven't chosen one for sure.

#16 make a difference in at least one person's life

#17 donate blood.

#18 have an alaskan malamute.

my dad promised to buy me one the day i move out.

#19 get married.

#20 milk a cow.

#21 experience pure bliss. 

someday.

#22 go to see the radio city rockettes christmas show.

in new york. obviously.

#23 try greek food.

#24 take my dad to the redland forest.

he always talks about it.

#25 witness an eclipse.

#26 find my life's passion.

#27 scuba dive.

#28 become an early riser.

#29 see the ice sculptures in maryland.

mainly just concerned about the grinch world.

#30 attend the CMA awards



obviously the list can go on and on.. and i think of new things to add to it everyday.
but this is just a little taste of the life i'll be living in the meantime :)

happiness.

i will be happy.

being happy doesn't just randomly happen. you choose to be happy. 

good days don't happen by chance; the choices you make each day create your happiness.

i'm choosing everyday to find that happiness.

life is too short.

there are sooo many things that make me happy.

the little things in life are the best. period.

if you know me, you know it doesn't take much to make me a happy girl.

#1. compliments.

of any type. even the bad ones. okay i guess i'm saying that opinions in general make me happy. hearing people speak the truth and stand up for what the believe in most definitely makes me happy.

#2. dancing

of any type. makes me happier than anything. it's my passion & it always will be. i may not become some amazing professional dancer in hollywood, but i won't ever quit. never ever give up on your passion. when i'm dancing nothing else matters. it's what i truly love. it picks me up on bad days. even if it's just in my kitchen. 

#3. music

i'm constantly listening to music. i take my stereo in the bathroom when i shower, i play it while i get ready, while i'm doing homework, while i'm cleaning the house, walking to class. you name a time and i'm doin it. taylor swift is my absolute favorite. you better believe i even have posters in my room. never thought i'd see the day. point is, i couldn't live without music.

#4. love

even though i haven't experienced real true love, it makes me happy to even think about. finding someone you want to spend every minute of every day with is amazing. i'm honestly excited for it. but i'm not anxious. i have so much life to live before i want it to happen. but i am truly waiting for my prince charming. just like every other girl out there. if you find him send him my way.

#5. solitude

spending an afternoon alone is so amazing to me. i do it often, and its incredible. so many people always have to be with somebody, always doing something. i am not one of those people. having time to just think about everything is beautiful. it makes me realize how truly beautiful my life is.

#6 vacations

who doesn't love to get away? i haven't been many places, but even little trips make me happy. doesn't matter where it is, if it requires packing a bag for overnight, i couldn't be more excited. someday i'll travel to amazing places. there are so many places on my list i would like to see and experience. 

#7 laughing

enough said.

#8 people

not all people. but most people. the people i choose to surround myself with. i learn from them, grow from them. having somebody care about you is the best feeling to me. trusting someone is pretty high up there on the list too. i trust everyone until they prove me wrong. everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. 

my family and my friends are the most amazing people i could choose in my life. couldn't ask for more.

#9 food

ohhh yum. personal favorites? hot chocolate with hershey's kisses.

i'm a fan of everything really. except hotdogs & seafood. YUCK.

#10 summer

everything about it. flying kites, picnics, sidewalk chalk, swimming, i could go on and on... 

but you get the point. 

obviously there are so many other things i haven't named. 

being happy is the greatest thing to be. why choose anything else?

grams.

all i want to know is... why?

why her? why now? 

my wish for the day: i wish i could do something to help. anything.

my grandma is my hero. she's the most caring person you will ever meet.

she's the kind of person you can call anytime and she will drop everything for you.

her heart is filled with nothing but good things. i've never even heard her say a bad word about anyone.

she just doesn't have it in her. 

i wish i could be as strong as she is. she is so brave.

it's hard. i'm not going to pretend like it's easy to see. but i know that with everything she has been

through so far, it can only get better from here. she has the strength, maybe not physically, but

mentally she can conquer the world. she has the support. my family is amazing; 

we make miracles happen. and she has the doctors. she's working with the best of the best. 

countless doctors are on her case. all meeting and discussing and focusing just on her. 

everything has to be okay. just have hope.

 

Once you choose hope, anything's possible.  

~Christopher Reeve

 

i'm a believer. i believe with my whole heart 100% that miracles happen everyday.

i believe that prayers are answered. i believe that things can change. 

and i believe that everything happens for a reason.

sometimes i believe in crazy things. 

example:

knocking on wood.

crossing my fingers.

my lucky number.

shooting stars.
lucky pennies.

but it's the little things like this that make life worth living. 

we all just want something to believe in. that we can count on.

so where i'm going with all of this is that i know she is going to be healthy again someday.

i have no doubts she will be okay.

cancer is a scary word though. to anyone. say it in a sentence and the mood will change instantly.

everyone is scared of it. as if by saying it, it makes things worse. 

but it's nothing we can't overcome.

the day we find a cure for cancer, the whole world will rejoice as one.

and i say we, because yes, i plan to be a part of that.



 

someday.

but in the meantime...

lucky.

sometimes i struggle in life. sometimes i'm so hard on myself. 

sometimes i wish things were different; that life was easier. 

then i say to myself..

i am not a perfect person. i constantly have to remind myself of that. i'm hard on myself. and i demand perfection. but lately i'm starting to realize perfection doesn't exist. nobody is perfect. nothing is perfect.

i'm setting a goal for myself. don't try to be perfect, just try to be good. being a good person, making good choices, surrounding myself with good people. 

i've realized with the older i get, the more complicated situations become. what i used to think was a big deal suddenly doesn't matter anymore. i find myself worrying about other things. i just wish the people in my life would do this too. i don't need all the drama. it's like, let's grow up.

i've also realized i'm always trying to please other people. why?? this is something i truly struggle with. 

i worry what other people think. i try to please them, just to be their friend. no longer will i do this.

  i'm living for me from now on. me and only me. a good friend always tells me,

"you worry too much, who cares what they think." it is so unbelievably true.

if you don't like me how i am, then tough luck. because i LOVE me.

i love how i am, including my imperfections. 

 

WISHES.

wishes are truly inspiring to me. we wish for things. constantly wishing, wanting. 

wish where you will. on a star. on an eyelash. perhaps a dandelion. 

maybe when the clock hits a certain time. on your birthday candles.

but why do we wish? because we want to believe little things like this will change our lives.

"my wish for you: comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life"

yesterday i saw something that i won't ever ever forget. it changed me right then and there. i volunteer at primary children's hospital.  just the experience itself is a beautiful thing. it's truly indescribable. i see things that are hard to see, but i also see things that are so inspiring. while i was there last night i came across a wall. it had a giant tree painted in the middle and it said "our wishes for 2010" then people wrote on leaves their wishes and taped them to the wall. no longer will i ever ever feel sorry for myself. to have my health is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. their wishes are a lot different than mine. they wish for a new heart, less medicine, to see their dog, just to go home. reading the wall was truly inspiring to me. i think we all need to be more positive and enjoy life the way we are. i am so lucky.

but this all got me thinking, why do we only wish for ourselves?
ever notice that? we make a wish and its always for us. start wishing for others. today.

ending with one simple thought:

i am so blessed.

i could go on and on... but we'll save that for another day :)

12 peat??

 I do believe that dynasties can live forever, and I believe anybody can start one at anytime.

On February 4, 2011 this was proven to me.
 The 2010-2011 Bingham Minerettes won the state championship!!

I was so proud and grateful to be sitting there that day! I even think tears were shed..

For my cousin Cydney to be able to experience that feeling was all I have wanted this year!
& Camille.... Oh my. What a trooper. She has pneumonia & bronchitis and danced like nothing was even wrong. Haha this post is dedicated to her. (I told you I would do it!)



In the words of Whitney Simons- "We may have just started a 12 peat"

Dear John

Love can be inspiring. Love can be dark and twisted. 

In this case, it's both. 

Letting go and moving on has always been a hard thing for me to do.
It's part of falling in love, and it's part of growing up.
I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but with him I did. He's the best thing that has happened to me.

 "I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be"

People often have hate in their hearts when someone tells them it's time to move on, but I don't think I ever will. He'll always be in my heart, and I am grateful for the time we had together. It was the best & happiest time of my life. But it's time to move on.

 

"Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark twisted games
When I loved you so
I should have known"

Change is.. good?

Life can change in the blink of an eye. 

Change is my life lately. It used to terrify me. Everyone is scared of the unknown. But why be scared? Anything can happen, & everything happens for a reason. So live life to the fullest without any fear. CHANGE IS ALWAYS FOR THE BETTER.

“The key to change… is to let go of fear”

To say that life has changed lately is an understatement. Everything about my life has changed within the past three years.


My family and I have faced many obstacles, but it has only made us stronger. I am so thankful everyday to have them in my life, because without them I would be so lost!


My parents are the strongest people I know. My mamma is a recent cancer survivor, and my paps lost his eyesight almost one year ago. But they never let anything get them down.

My incredible grandma was diagnosed with cancer right before Christmas of 2010. Her and my mom have started their own “club” as they call it. She is starting chemo next week and has been looking at wigs. Nobody should ever have to go through this. Especially her. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. But she will beat this. She has to.

“Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what’s important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you LOVE them. If it wasn’t for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it. That’s true, if it wasn’t for the downside”

2010 made me realize who I truly am. I know I am a strong person and because of all these changes I have only gotten stronger. I have welcomed change with open arms, and the rewards are so worth it.

I’m a freshmen University of Utah this year and I love it! It’s so amazing to be out of high school and to finally figure out who I am and what I want from life. Med school here I come!

New Years 2011 was the best I’ve ever had and I spent the night with my best friends in this world!
Stra Bird, Sam, Becky & Moll Cat.
Don’t know what I would do without you.








Friends are hard to come by lately, and I’ve had some ups and downs. Realizing your best friend isn’t at all who you thought she was is hard. But I have moved on and my friends in my life today make me a better person. Not only do they bring out the best in me, but they make me want to bring out the best in other people.

This right here is my best friend! She keeps me sane and helps me through everything. We can spend hours doing nothing and I love every minute of it! Since we’re both so indecisive we usually spend hours arguing over what to do, & by the time we decide, the night is already gone. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is like my second sister.









 

Speaking of sisters…. MINE IS GETTING MARRIED!





 And I am so utterly happy for her! To find someone you love & want to spend the rest of your life with them is an amazing thing. She will make a beautiful bride! I (the maid of honor) need to get planning! I’m slacking with this quite a bit, and I’m in charge of a lot. It’s going to be so stressful, but I will love every minute of it! From cake testing, to flowers, to table cloths, it’s going to be so great. Her fiance is Keith and they’ve been dating for over 2 years. Finally tying the knot on April 11, 2011.

One more last and final thing… My cousin Eric is now a Marine. He will be leaving July 18 for training in California. I am so proud of him and his decision to join. He’s wanted to do this since he was about 6 and he will finally be living his dream! Words can’t describe how much I will miss him, but he will be serving our country proudly!








Okay okay.. a lot has changed. But it’s what makes life interesting! I’m loving every second of it, and cannot wait to see what 2011 has in store for me.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”